A Year of The Long Ball – Weird Searches, Random Countries & Thank Yous

Friday May 17th 2013. The day of the first ever post from The Long Ball (which you can check out here) and what set in motion a really interesting year of posts, look backs and some downright random stuff. To commemorate this one year anniversary, it is only appropriate that we delve into the WordPress stats and see some of the strange and unique ways and places that have contributed to the near 6,000 views…

Search Terms

We’ll start off looking at search terms. Three of the top five search terms are wither “alaba“, “david alaba” or “alaba david“. This is a very common search term as Bayern full back Alaba has developed into one of the most recognisable footballers on the planet. It’s after all the Alaba searches that things begin to get a little strange.

Firstly, one of the top searches (amongst all of the random footballer searches) that have seen people find the blog is “chamakh balding“. It was mentioned in a previous MOTD Observations near the start of the season (that stuck) but who the hell actually searches that?! It’s closely followed in weirdness by the people who got onto the blog searching for “http://www.excitingteens.com“.  Instead of finding the porn they were probably looking for, these poor souls ended up with a look at what’s happened to some teenagers who were supposed to be the next football superstars (view them here and here).

On to some of the more obscure searches now and I feel for the poor soul who searched for this and ended up here because he knows that what he searched for is a little creepy. This person very specifically searched for “premier league player sex scandal 2013″ and in the process made their self look like a sex starved weirdo. Fortunately for them that wasn’t the weirdest sex related search term that cropped up. No because one person legitimately searched for the specific term “robbie fowler 2006 sex scandal”. As a Liverpool fan, I hold Fowler in the highest of high regards but that doesn’t mean that he is a handsome man. Far from it. In fact, it’s weird that anyone would even imagine any footballer getting it on in any way, shape or form regardless of its scandalousness let alone search for it specifically on the internet.

From time to time, people will search football related questions and will come here looking for the answers to these extremely important questions. For example, “alexis sanchez and olivier giroud who is the better player” or “how many goals have. konoplyanka in the ukrainian. league this season?” They come to The Long Ball for answers to these poorly written questions will horrible grammar and will probably not find what they were looking for. However, if you are the like the two people who searched for “what is carl asaba doing now?” then The Long Ball has you covered. But sometimes the questions that lead people here are just beyond random – “orlando pirate teenz trials when are they and when are they?”

Sometimes people just can’t even internet. There have been a few people who have searched the specific URL of one of the pages for The Long Ball and shockingly made it to those pages. Then there was the one person who searched for “http://www.essien is not even a first choice at ac milan.he is a flop”. Seriously? What even do you hope to find out with this search? The whole point of the search is that you are supposed to find out something. This person has clearly just gave their opinion to Google and hoped people agree. Although the need for www. was minimal.

Of course there are other downright strange search terms that have got people here including:

  • man city in chilean
  • walter pandiani, deportivo legend?
  • joey barton tweets frimpong
  • 1985 welsh amateur snooker championship
  • danny granville twitter
  • photo.of real.madrid players casemiro nacho jese jose rodriguez and morata
  • drumcondra goalkeeper in the 1960
  • a.b.a.t.e.
  • mans leg bent in football
  • alberto luque, deportivo legend?
  • why does moyes not rate anderson
  • isco and mata, who is a game changer and d most sought after in world football
  • top best striker in england histry
  • great legs for football
  • fernando torres wolverine

Sadly though, this term is by far and away the funniest yet most concerning of the lot. I wish that this was a joke but it sadly is not. One person in the whole entire world has stumbled upon this blog having searched very specifically for “wojciech szczesny penis“. One person out there right now has been onto the internet and thought “I want to see Wojciech Szczesny’s junk on my screen right now”. Incredible. Truly incredible.


The internet is a powerful thing and can connect everyone to little unknown corners of the world in seconds. So, it is only natural that some of the readers of The Long Ball have come from random corners of the globe including:

  • Jersey
  • Estonia
  • Aruba
  • Georgia
  • Bahrain
  • Puerto Rico
  • Jordan
  • Guatemala
  • Barbadoa
  • Taiwan
  • Palestine
  • Iraq
  • India
  • Isle of Man
  • Kenya
  • Bolivia
  • Peru
  • Algeria
  • Qatar
  • Philippines
  • Romania
  • Hong King
  • USA
  • Canada
  • Saudi Arabia
  • Vietnam
  • UK
  • Germany
  • France
  • Ireland
  • And obviously, Nepal

A big thank you to all those countries and many, many more who have been here and read the content.

Special Mentions

I would like to thank all the people who have shared content from this blog on Twitter especially BewareFlyingFootballs (@bewareflyingfb on Twitter) who has shared more than anyone else. For that I thank him especially and encourage everyone to go and check out his site and Twitter now. I would also like to thank Footysphere who for some reason put this blog on a page for interesting sites alongside great ones such as Put Niels In Goal and Rightbankwarsaw which was a real confidence boost.

Most importantly, I would like to thank you all for reading and encourage you to keep your eyes peeled for something a little different in the coming weeks.



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