Inspired by a conversation I somehow found myself in on Twitter (found here if you’re curious), Magnificent Seven returns looking at the greatest moustaches in footballing history of which zero of them are Movember attempts…
7. Frank Rijkaard (suggested by @NachikethRamesh)
Squeezing into the list at number seven is Dutch legend Rijkaard – more well known by the younger fan for gobbing on fellow moustachioed footballer Rudi Voller and managing Barcelona than for any of his playing accomplishments (of which there are many). He has opted for the smooth, Lionel Richie look and managed to pull it off to a point that people remember it to this day. Very suave.
6. Graeme Souness
Souness rocked the 70s TV cop/pornstar moustache right the way through the 70s and well into the 80s because he was Graeme Souness and nobody dare challenge him. Still, it was magnificent and added to the manliness of Souness who was possibly the one player in history never to be scared of anything. It’s just a shame he shaved it off as he’s only now known for being angry on TV.
5. Vicente del Bosque
The one man in world football who is still holding on to the moustache despite the rise of beards, del Bosque’s has not changed since he was around 6 years old*. Even as his hair greys and disappears from the top of his head and despite the World Cup wins and surprise sackings, del Bosque has steadfastly stuck with his moustache. A marvelous effort sir.
*not factually accurate
4. Henry Mowbray (suggested by @TheSkyStrikers)
A big, burly Scottish centre half in the 60s, it was only natural for Mowbray to have a moustache. And boy did he embrace that. Mowbray embraced the Hulk Hogan look before Hulk Hogan was even a thing and turned a solid yet unspectacular player into someone that would be remembered by a few moustache enthusiasts (and some people with too much time on their hands and a blog).
3. Ronald Spelbos
The Dutch are known for introducing some of football’s most beautiful sights (Cruyff, Total Football etc.) but one Dutchman created something so beautiful that it had to be immortalised on a random football blog. Spelbos’ moustache is an incredible feat of manliness, grooming and cojones to pull it off. It’s remarkable he actually had the time to play any football with all the effort that must have took to maintain. Sadly for Spelbos though he’s not the highest Dutchman on this list…
2. Abe van den Ban
Little known Dutch footballer may not have had a spectacular career but that doesn’t mean he couldn’t have a spectacular moustache. That’s exactly what Abe did, making his upper lip look like a bike and making him in the process look like a 1930s cartoon strongman. Amazingly, he still has the moustache and is a bit of cult hero because of it.
1. Antonio Borges (suggested by @TheSkyStrikers)
Borges’ moustache philosophy was simple – forget styling and looking fancy, just grow as much hair as you can on your upper lip. It was a pretty successful one too as Borges grew simply the greatest moustache in football history. It beggars belief that the small gap between nose and upper lip is capable of holding that much hair without suffocating him or having small birds nest inside it. Antonio Borges, we salute you and your wonderful moustache.
Who possesses your favourite football moustache? Let us know either here or over on Twitter (link on the left) and give @NachikethRamesh and @TheSkyStrikers a follow for their helpful suggestions. Stay tuned for more from The Long Ball too.